There was a lunar eclipse towards the end of 2020. I heard that this is a great time to check in with oneself. So I did. I sat down and asked myself the big questions. Then I went to bed and hoped for answers.

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I got them.

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I dreamt that I was wearing a suit and attending my first day of college. I walked into my classroom late and the professor was already explaining how to gain a platform on social media. I stopped dead in my tracks and then left the room. 

 

That wasn't something I wanted. 

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I walked through the hallways and came across art; all kinds of it. There were abstract sculptures, paintings, and pages hung from the ceiling. I meandered around and was filled with such a wistful want.

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I wanted that. 

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I had my answer then. I left my social media accounts with nothing but a sigh of relief. I had been trying to play the social media game even when I didn't want to play. 

 

Lesson learned.

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I taught myself a new skill; wood turning. It allows me to settle into a peaceful mindset. It's just me and that piece of wood. We're playing. No rules or expectations. And when I'm able to let go, pure creation flows. 

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So:

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If you're trying hard then you're in your own way.

 

There's a block. Don't try harder. Understand the block.

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It can be called many things.

 

It can be summed up to one word;

 

Fear

 

   Fear

       -of failure

       -of ridicule 

       -of disappointing others

       -of disappointing yourself

       -of pain

       -of time

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And so on into ad nauseam. 

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Figure out your blocks and then flow around them. 

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You can't flow around them until you know what you've been fighting against. 

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So look your ugly in the face and realize that it isn't so ugly after all. Most likely you'll find pain. It might be wearing a different face; passion, hate, anger, vanity, drive, mistrust, anxiety, pride. 

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It's pain.

 

And fear is the root of all pain. 

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So the real question is-

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What are you truly afraid of? 

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